i love london

1

i could walk anywhere in london without feeling like a complete and utter noob. i know it's a topsy-turvydom of a city - with it being so old: imagine old 'dickensian' quaint cobbled little alleyways filled with hotfooted city workers who wouldn't waver pushing you off a stairway. if for a second you stop in your tracks to enjoy the view.

2

and those shizophrenic suicidal cyclists!"...oi! stay on the starboard side mate!!! tis' not exactly a viewing deck of the bloody titanic innit?!"

3

don't even think of the 'london underground'. it's like an underbelly of an ancient malacopterygian monster whose bowels are the equivalent of the heaving mass of humanity aboard a conveyor belt that will open up to various orifices in the city.

4

the escalators are horrid gravity-defying motorways. left side is for overtaking. warning: stay on the right lane if you happen to be a slow, fresh out of water bipod who just discovered land - in accelerated 'darwinian' linguistic context, that is. the evolutionary epochal leap from fish to chimp to eyeliner-wearing david bowie metro-sexual-starman.

5

nevermind that foul-mouthed cockney neanderthal who just gave you a earful very sarcastic version of the 'highway code'. "see number 2"

6

first time i came to london from a sleepy country town way up north of england, i nearly had a brain haemorrhage from sensory overload. i swore i will never work in london.

7

tgf wanted to go to covent garden. she has a thing for markets at the moment. she prefers them over shopping malls. with fervid indignation - as if it's an anti-consumerist stance. i don't see the difference. our mutual friend's boyfriend works in a quirky t - shirt shop there. it's called 'david and goliath'. i'm still trying to understand how a shirt with pretty much juvenile sketch drawings of girls throwing rocks at boys can cost the earth. apparently, paul mccartney recently paid a fortune for his “boys are stupid” painting from these guys.

8

i wanted to go to highgate cemetery to see the final resting place of karl marx. judging from the depth of crow's feet ostensibly appearing around tgf's eyes, i changed my mind. though i explained to her that it's not a place solely for dead communists. a few other artists and poets are buried there.


9

i went to the the tate modern. walking down from london bridge to the museum was quite plaeasant when i went last summer. not this day though. very cold and windy. but i suppose it's worth braving the nasty weather to see a van gogh and wonder what was on his mind when he painted those swirling lovely yellow skies. i'm pretty sure he was quite sad - like most artists are.

10

"oh, i hate art."

weekend.

1

slept quite late last saturday night which basically is not what i planned (going to london the next day). i would normally watch a potentially boring film to help me sleep. period films often do. the extremely glamorous 1930's. the year between them up to the late forties even more so. stories of japs taking on the yanks as well as the nazi kicking butts of jews and marxists in europe instead of fairy tales lull me to sleep as a child.


2

sultry ladies singing anything that was taken off a 'gershwin songbook', a gentle head massage and a hot drink thrown in for good measure also helps. methinks 'diana krall' dressed as french milkmaid pushing a tea trolley would kill me.

3

we planned for a few days weekend getaway and to celebrate mother's day. so tgf is keen to put me to bed early. she offered a steaming mug of chamomille. or whatever herb tea or cure-all drink your nan would make when you're feeling poorly. it's amazing what e.s.p. can do between two loving couples. she can read your mind and sometimes get it right when you're particularly lucky. but not always. not this night, i suppose. . tgf is a bit of a 'health nazi' and would shove anything that has the words: wonder, nature or even magic. written on a pill bottle. it's fascism but for your own good.

4

watched 'the edge of love' as i was feeling rather tired iffy after doing a day shift, two graveyards and two more days after just one day off. i wouldn't really watch a very full-on film noir with a very fancy plot and loads of gratuitous violence at this stage. a nice, feel-good, humdrum movie will do .

5

i actually stayed wide awake watching the 'film' in its entirety. excellent. well, as a film. but not for my well-being. . a very digitally enhanced 'keira knightley' as white impersonator of 'billie holiday' singing the blues away inside the tube while london is pummelled by the germans is actually quite funny. never mind the not so funny 'matthew rhys' as dylan thomas and his equally boring and pseudo-intellectual poetry. it's enough that 'sienna miller' played the nympho wife getting her kicks out of everyone wearing pants with a bit of unrestrained lesbian tendency. nice.

6

took the early morning train. i always look forward to the nice one hour comfy train ride. the day was lovely. a bit nippy, but bright and sunny. you can see the horses and sheeps grazing in the hayfields as the train cuts through the 'kentish' countryside.


7

london bridge. apparently the oldest train station and was first opened in 1836. where you get off and get lost into the heart of london town.

dumpling

1. first attempt at making chicken dumplings failed this morning. probably needs a bit more lard or water next time as the dough felt a wee bit on the tough side when i was kneading it. was tempted to bin the whole mix as the process got more and more ardous and thought the product is just not gonna be up to the standard... thought in the end that i may potentially waste perfectly boiled eggs and decent chicken filling so (what the heck) i banged it in the oven. it turned out as gorgeous, yummy, chicken-roll-pie-thing.


2. watched three archetypal rom-com movies (i know, not the usual heavy going fare a self-respecting cinephile would watch) apart from 'running with scissors', this afternoon to patch up the rather boring day. 'running with scissors'was quite good. a story of a 14 something boy abandoned by his loony mom to a wacky family of a pysychiatrist with three more adopted children. i have yet to meet a psychiatrist with his own 'masturbaturium' if there is such a thing. annette bening is so brilliantly funny when she said something like: 'i can smell manure coming off your ears' to alec baldwin who played her husband.

then it was 'knocked up' from a relatively unknown cast. i think i've seen some of them in a few canadian films. runs like an indie film. very funny in a very quirky sort of way. like 'juno'. girl met boy in a club, got drunk, had one night stand and got pregnant. scenes between boy and girl are so real. pretty much convincing playing their roles. so easy to laugh out loud with.

the third movie was 'suburban girl' dvd sleeve says '...could give 'the devil wears prada' a run for its money' oh, well. whatever. didn't find it really funny. kinda boring and pretentious. both sarah 'buffy the vampire slayer' gellar and alec baldwin didn't really look the part of publishing editor or writer types.

3. we spent most of the afternoon debating who could play balwin's role better. my choices were: between woody allen, steve buscemi and harvey keitel. tgf's were: ralph fiennes, brad pitt (obviously) and george Clooney.

We in the end settled with johnny depp. I know, you'd probably think 'pirates of the caribbean' but johnny can also look quite the intellectual in a very eccentric way.

4. the weather was bright and sunny. at least, in the afternoon. we could have gone for a lovely walk in the park but ( see number 1).

5. sister in law turned up with spicy roast duck and some oriental veg and noodles combo for dinner. went really well with a few glasses of sparkling wine (tgf said it was champagne) left over from yesterday.

6. warm shower and a wet shave.

7. cuddles in bed.