Thursday, 22 July 2010

dead cows

i got a tomtom for my fortieth amongst other things from my wishlist which i have to say, is probably the most expensive single present i ever had from a birthday wisher. the list isn't mainly made up of electronic goods to be honest, but also abstract stuff, most of them "unprintable" aside from world peace and overthrowing capitalism. = : )


the downside of it all, is that tgf has developed a compulsive propensity to explore the english countryside within a fifty mile radius in relatively comparable proportions to a dolphin's sex drive.


as a portable sattelite navigation system made for cars, it is a terribly shite wonderful substitute for a road atlas that will more or less take you where you wanted to be as long as the old winding road isn't altered by one of the many bloody road works cropping up pretty much everywhere in the countryside. although quite often, you end up in a quandary whether to follow the very annoyed voice of the polar-orbiting sattelite's rather silly suggestions.


to slaughter a few country garden gnomes disguised as bright orange plastic traffic cones barricading the lane in front of you, or to bite your tongue and continue the opposite direction until the electronic voice of 'ann robinson' finally shuts it. normally after gathering enough spatial data for an alternate direction you'd wish will not snake-tail back to where you started.


if you're not lucky, it's usually a dead cow in a wide patch of grassland somewhere in kent. the good thing with my sat-nav is that it actually has got a nifty function i just recently discovered that will take you to the nearest mcdonald's from where you are globally positioned.


the dead cow you eat with a bucket of milkshake could potentially be the mate of the dead cow you met. now this could potentially be a proper tongue twister. if recited twice the sonic speed.

Monday, 12 July 2010

smell the coffee

amidst all the panic attacks of moving into a new job, my father's constant trip to the intensive care unit and myself turning forty by the end of last year, i really, really couldn't propel myself to update this blog. doing so would be the equivalent to writing a twenty thousand word essay about the extreme physical and mental effects of triggering the mammalian diving reflex from waterboarding.


voila. i'm finally done with essays and having slightly settled into new work, i couldn't commit to doing more post grad studies just yet. first work appraisal was done last week and i still have the privilege to brush up my knowledge with new organ system (the kidney) and skills with new machines (haemodialysis) before i delve into the rather bureaucratic (ward management) rigmarole of work politics.

* having done nine years of critical care (multi-organ systems, gazillion of artificial life machines and multi-disciplines)i finally feel (for now) that going to work is like a walk (in my case, driving 15 miles) in the park as opposed to the jungle.


pop is coping fairly well with peritoneal dialysis at home with special nurse after his numerous trips to hospital (3 or 4 times in icu).

* i have yet to settle the cost of my part of the arm and leg contribution to the bill. but it is only money.


the midlife is not really so bad if you think about it. i know i've got borderline diabetes, i got gout, i get impatient quite too easily, i get tired and drowsy during midday, i probably snore more heavily, i crashed my car coming off a night shift, i forget to wear the right colour socks, i prefer white wine over beer, i sometimes listen to bossa nova and watered down cafe jazz.

it's all downhill, really.

i didn't realize it would be that easy to change jobs (see number 1 ) and wife (i know, this was 10 years ago) you can live with for the rest of your life. i have learnt to take it easy. to hypoventilate. to splash face with cold water. to relax when upset and to wake up when drowsy.

* the latter requires learning how to dive from a sea mammal.

apparently, seals could slow down their hearts from 125 to as low as 10 beats per minute on submersion to cold water.