Thursday, 22 July 2010

dead cows

i got a tomtom for my fortieth amongst other things from my wishlist which i have to say, is probably the most expensive single present i ever had from a birthday wisher. the list isn't mainly made up of electronic goods to be honest, but also abstract stuff, most of them "unprintable" aside from world peace and overthrowing capitalism. = : )


the downside of it all, is that tgf has developed a compulsive propensity to explore the english countryside within a fifty mile radius in relatively comparable proportions to a dolphin's sex drive.


as a portable sattelite navigation system made for cars, it is a terribly shite wonderful substitute for a road atlas that will more or less take you where you wanted to be as long as the old winding road isn't altered by one of the many bloody road works cropping up pretty much everywhere in the countryside. although quite often, you end up in a quandary whether to follow the very annoyed voice of the polar-orbiting sattelite's rather silly suggestions.


to slaughter a few country garden gnomes disguised as bright orange plastic traffic cones barricading the lane in front of you, or to bite your tongue and continue the opposite direction until the electronic voice of 'ann robinson' finally shuts it. normally after gathering enough spatial data for an alternate direction you'd wish will not snake-tail back to where you started.


if you're not lucky, it's usually a dead cow in a wide patch of grassland somewhere in kent. the good thing with my sat-nav is that it actually has got a nifty function i just recently discovered that will take you to the nearest mcdonald's from where you are globally positioned.


the dead cow you eat with a bucket of milkshake could potentially be the mate of the dead cow you met. now this could potentially be a proper tongue twister. if recited twice the sonic speed.

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