smell the coffee

amidst all the panic attacks of moving into a new job, my father's constant trip to the intensive care unit and myself turning forty by the end of last year, i really, really couldn't propel myself to update this blog. doing so would be the equivalent to writing a twenty thousand word essay about the extreme physical and mental effects of triggering the mammalian diving reflex from waterboarding.

1

voila. i'm finally done with essays and having slightly settled into new work, i couldn't commit to doing more post grad studies just yet. first work appraisal was done last week and i still have the privilege to brush up my knowledge with new organ system (the kidney) and skills with new machines (haemodialysis) before i delve into the rather bureaucratic (ward management) rigmarole of work politics.

* having done nine years of critical care (multi-organ systems, gazillion of artificial life machines and multi-disciplines)i finally feel (for now) that going to work is like a walk (in my case, driving 15 miles) in the park as opposed to the jungle.

2

pop is coping fairly well with peritoneal dialysis at home with special nurse after his numerous trips to hospital (3 or 4 times in icu).

* i have yet to settle the cost of my part of the arm and leg contribution to the bill. but it is only money.

3

the midlife is not really so bad if you think about it. i know i've got borderline diabetes, i got gout, i get impatient quite too easily, i get tired and drowsy during midday, i probably snore more heavily, i crashed my car coming off a night shift, i forget to wear the right colour socks, i prefer white wine over beer, i sometimes listen to bossa nova and watered down cafe jazz.

it's all downhill, really.

i didn't realize it would be that easy to change jobs (see number 1 ) and wife (i know, this was 10 years ago) you can live with for the rest of your life. i have learnt to take it easy. to hypoventilate. to splash face with cold water. to relax when upset and to wake up when drowsy.

* the latter requires learning how to dive from a sea mammal.

apparently, seals could slow down their hearts from 125 to as low as 10 beats per minute on submersion to cold water.